Love is hard

I always thought that when I fell in love it would be easy. Boy meets girl, they go on date and BANG. They love each other. Well, maybe it's not quite like that. Relationships require time and patience and hard work. Because now it's not just me. It's me and another person. 2 people. 2 people who have grown up in different environments, with different families, doing different things. I'm not saying that differences are bad. I think that differences pull people together.

But how do we do it? How do we not let our differences become road blocks? When are the differences TOO DIFFERENT?! I don't know. I wish I did, because if I did I would not be here right now. Stuck in Limbo Land. Limbo Land is not an ideal vacation spot. It is a place full of uncertainty, frustration, sadness, frustration, unknowns and it sits right on edge of giving up.

But, I don't want to give up...not yet, not ever. I must keep holding on. Maybe eventually it will all be better. Maybe one day I will wake up and be a changed, better person. PERFECT. A perfect person who can be confident in their own shoes. Someone who can make others feel comfortable. Someone who brings out the best in others. Someone that can let loose. Someone who can have a good time, laugh, cry and not WORRY.

Worry is bad. I hate worrying. It's stressful. What should I do? How can I make this right? All my best efforts keep making things worse...How do I fix this problem? How many times will it take for me to get it right?

I guess I'll keep going. I guess I won't give up or give in...starting tomorrow. Today, I just want to cry.