i know it's late, but i still want to do the october reading challenge. why? because october is a month dedicated to fear. how cool is that?
i love being scared. haunted houses, scary movies, horror stories. yep. love. so, for october i am participating in the reading challenge.
it is as follows:
i must finish the following scary classics by october 31, 2012-
henrik ibsen's ghosts. a sixty page play.
the legend of sleepy hollow by irving washington
three of the classic tales by the grimm brothers (haven't decided which ones yet...)
frankenstein by mary shelley
and finish it off with my personal favorite, bram stoker's dracula
i am most excited. to me, october should be celebrated correctly. if you don't like to be scared...i will cry tears for you tonight as i sleep. join me in the challenge.
sometimes...i think too much about everything. and by sometimes, i mean every freaking time. i over analyze, i try too hard and i usually make a mess of it. so, in light of my new favorite song, i have decided to 'feel inside...and stuff like that.' please listen to this song. immediately. stop right now and listen to it. now.
so good? right? i used to be afraid of 'feeling' anything. i would force myself to hold back tears because i didn't want to be weak and show emotion. well, that changed. feelings are given to us, to guide us. i have noticed that when i have a certain feeling...following it and acting upon it is always the best response!
although emotions can be taken to an extreme...and we can lose control sometimes, feeling emotion is God-like. we of course should be careful to always be in tune with our emotions and listen to that inner voice because more often than not, that inner voice is the Holy Ghost telling us exactly what we need to do.
some say the Spirit can be tricky, i used to brush feelings aside saying that it was just me telling myself that. but here's a big however. HOWEVER, when we are living righteously and striving to do all the Lord asks of us, that inner voice is always right because we have completely aligned ourselves with God's will. the gospel is simple, the Spirit is not tricky...it is easy, open-access if we live righteously and feel inside...and stuff like that.
to know about the above-mentioned song...watch the interviews.
in a few short weeks, i will be starting my last year as an undergrad at brigham young university.
i am excited, nervous, sad and happy.
many people are under the impression that i don't love byu-provo as much as byu-hawaii. well, it's true.
this place will always be my 'hometown'
but, byu-provo has been an amazing-amazing experience. i have never grown or learned so much as in these last four years. although i am sad to be moving on, i am excited to have one more year.
one more year of quiet lunches in the moa cafe.
one more year of falling asleep on random benches
one more year of nervously entering teachers' offices
one more year of running into old and new friends
one more year of buying an ice cream cone at this place when i have had a bad day (or a good day, for that matter)
one more year of studying in the science section of the library
because i believe the science books will emit
an aura that will make me smarter.
one more year of trudging through cold snow, but knowing it's worth it because i can reward myself with hot chocolate
one more year of walking around the harris fine arts center staring at artwork i can't begin to understand
one more year of finding an empty practice room after my night classes and singing at the top of my lungs
one more year of good test scores and bad test scores
one more year of fantastic devotionals and forums
one more year to grow
one more year to be learning at a beautiful school
one more year of little moments that make life worth the journey
my brother is a cadet in the u.s. air force. once he graduates, he will be an enlisted officer. my grandfather was an ensign in the navy during wwII and my other grandfather was a marine and stormed the beaches of normandy.each of these men have been more than willing to fight for a higher cause. they don't/didn't do it for the glory...because, let's be honest, our government is getting less supportive of the troops each day. the don't/didn't do it for the money...there is so little money in it. but they did/do it.
to me, there is nothing more honorable than fighting for your freedoms and more importantly, the freedoms of others. it was seen in american history, french history, (well, pretty much every country's history) the book of mormon, everywhere.
and to be completely honest, when i see those men and women in uniform, i feel the burning desire to suit up with them and fight along side them.
i feel so indebted to those men and women who gave their lives for me, for you, for each american, yes even the undeserving.
call me emotional, call me foolish, call me young and naive, but something strikes a chord within me when i see a man or woman in uniform. whether it's carrying the flag, getting on a plane, or picking up their children from school.
i know that by wearing that uniform, they have dedicated their lives to this country.
they have given up birthday parties, high school football games and every precious family moment.
their uniform says to me in plain words, 'i don't want to, but if it's asked of me, i will die for you.'
they represent the good in this country. the people. they don't represent the politics, but the passion for liberty.
they represent an idea. an idea of freedom that was ignited in our founding father's hearts.
they represent a union that almost crumbled but came out even stronger.
they represent a brighter future for every child.
they represent faith in divine guidance.
they represent each of us. now it is our turn, this fourth of july and everyday to give back to them. support, prayers, kind words, even just remembrance...the little things make the difference.
if there happens to be a member of the armed forces on his flight, my dad anonymously gives up his first class seat to him/her.
thank you big brother and all your fellow cadets. thanks to all the armed forces. your sacrifice makes it possible for me to sleep in peace tonight. i am proud of you and proud to be an american.
when all is said and done this quote sums it up:
"it is the soldier, not the reporter, who has given us freedom of the press.
it is the soldier, not the poet, who has given us freedom of speech.
it is the soldier, not the organizer, who gave us the right to demonstrate.
it is the soldier who salutes the flag, who serves beneath the flag, and whose
coffin in draped with the flag, who allows the protester to burn the flag."
-Father O'Brien, US Marine Corps
toby keith was right...american soldiers are exactly this:
today i read the declaration of independence again. hopefully you have read it at least once in your life, if not, GET ON IT. this sacred an inspired document is a symbol of faith in an unseen god and devotion to a worthy cause. it is a turning point in our nation's great history and a foundation of our freedom. it is because of this document and the men who signed their names on it we can call our selves americans.
it serves as a reminder that our rights our 'endowed by...[our]...creator' (declaration of independence, line 7) and the security of these rights are maintained by governments instituted by the people. this declaration specifically states that governmental powers are derived from the 'consent of the governed' (declaration of independence, line 10).
let us not forget the power each of us has in establishing governments. and it is our right and privilege to keep the government within their bounds. remembering, 'that whenever any form of government becomes destructive of these ends,
it is the right of the people to alter or to abolish it, and to
institute new government' (declaration of independence, line 10, italics added).
what courage it must of taken to stand up to the bigger dog. what faith they had in divine providence. what passion they had for protecting their individual rights and the rights of their neighbors, family friends and strangers. the last few lines read, 'and for the support of this declaration, with a firm reliance on the
protection of divine providence, we mutually pledge to each other our lives, our fortunes, and our sacred honor.'
they were ready and willing to give everything. are we willing to do the same?
now that i've given my little speech, i will say one last thing. that i am so grateful for each man who signed their name on that daring document. without it, i would not have my freedom of speech to write this blog or, more importantly, freedom of religion. i would be lost indeed. how grateful i am for God's grace and divine guidance.
in 1779, john newton penned the words to amazing grace. it might be my all time favorite song.
congratulations on making mickey mouse famous. your business is quite impressive. i rather enjoy your films. my personal favorite is the lion king. it makes me cry...but not really because i've only cried during one movie. we don't talk about it.
all of your movies are quite touching and most of them have happy endings. i say most, because of one tiny detail in one insignificant, usually forgotten disney movie...pocahontas. why on earth did you have to make a sequel that was accurate? the first movie itself is already completely inaccurate. no lovin between pocahontas and john smith actually went on because she was...like 13. so, couldn't we just keep the inaccurate love story rollin in the second movie too? all true pocahontas fans know 3 things:
1) john smith is much dreamier, manlier and all around a better guy than john rolfe.
2) john smith and pocahontas had a better love story.
3) john smith says the most romantic line ever to come out of a disney movie.
so, why? why suddenly be accurate?
other than that, i have no complaints.
sincerely,
a forever disney fan
p.s. walt, your company owns abc family, it shouldn't because abc family is the farthest thing from family...
over the weekend i fell in love. again...with the same three italian men. piero, ignazio and gianluca. As adorable as the british boy band sensation, "one direction" is, i will say that my true loyalty lies with il volo. they sing like angels and they are so beautifully italian. don't worry, i won't actually try anything with them, they are five years too young for me...
this is ignazio...he's like a big teddy bear...i just want to pinch his tenor cheeks
this is piero...look at his cute hipster-ness. he sings like a galloping antelope riding on the back of a whale...
this is gianluca...he is dreamy looking...and his voice is...well, just listen. (plus he has elvis hair)
watch...you will be changed. you will never listen to justin biebs again...
as a linguistics major, i find communication most fascinating. english is particularly interesting due to the vast number of words we use. but, i find that words can be surface-y and sometimes dull. words cannot always express the true meaning. words are a cover, a facade we use. words hide our emotions. people talk to me. they say things they are supposed to say. "hi, how are you?" "what's your name?" "where are you from?" "what do you like to do?" "nice to meet you." but, honestly, was it really nice to meet me? do they really care how i am?
i have spent a lot of time thinking about the unspoken language of music. music has an amazing power to touch deeper into our souls. i believe that music speaks to our hearts. it surpasses our minds completely and hits us in powerful and emotional ways. call me crazy, but i think that music is a more open and honest way of expression. people don't lie in music. it is the truth. through music, people feel safe in expressing their very thoughts, feelings and ideas that otherwise would have been hidden beneath a surface layer of words.
music is everywhere for that very reason. it inspires, lifts and comforts. imagine life without music. boring? dull? UN-expressive? i think yes. now, you may argue that music has words. lyrics. true, true, true, but i believe that lyrics without music are simply words. without the underlying melody, the lyrics lose the very message they were written to share. without melodies, lyrics are rhyming words and nothing more.
here's an experiment. watch harry potter or star wars with no sound. no darth vadar theme song or hogwarts castle music. suddenly, something is very wrong. i can almost guarantee that it will not ignite the same feelings and emotions.
here are some songs that really touch me or just make me happy:
i love medical dramas...they're so dramatic. mostly i love the doctoring and medical aspect of them. the different diseases and cases that arise simply fascinate me. my personal favorite is grey's anatomy (when it's not raunchy , of course) i have been using my wild imagination again and wondering what i would be like as a character in greys.
if i had to compare myself to a character, as in, 'whom am i most like?' i would say dr. lexie grey-or 'little grey'. she is beautiful, smart and a roller coaster of emotion-just like me. i only wish i had her photographic memory. dr. grey is in love with dr. sloan but she is afraid to tell him. yep, sums up my love life. she is also very emotionally involved in all her patients lives and frequently cries while operating-yes, that would be me. i think her character is solid. she is strong-willed, funny, kind and a good person. my favorite.
if i had to choose which doctor would be my best friend, i would say dr. arizona robbins. she is fabulous. the kind of person i would want to confide in. she is trustworthy. she is honest and will tell you how it is. i think most of my friends are like her. brilliant, gorgeous and hard-core. she's a pediatric surgeon and who doesn't like working with 'tiny humans?'
if i had to choose which doctor would be my guy best friend, i would say dr. alex karev. he is straightforward. he is not afraid to speak his mind, which sometimes gets him in trouble, and he is cold when first approached. but, deep down, dr. karev has good intentions and really cares about people including the love of his life, dr. izzie stevens. he is an amazing doctor. truly amazing. and he's a pediatric surgeon-such a softy at heart.
if i had to choose which doctor would be my mentor i would pick dr. callie torres. first off, she is an ortho surgeon-i love bones-it would be my specialty. second off, she is hilarious. she is so sassy. awesome doctor and, again, sassy. she kicks ortho-surgery derriere. she is an awesome teacher, i mean she has the 'torres method.' she's awesome.
now which doctor would i be crushin? easy-peasy. dr. jackson avery. look at those eyes. he is smart. he is cute. he is a sweetheart. he is just really pretty. he is a good friend and a nice doctor. always good to his patients. yep. crushin.
somebody once told me that i didn't act my true self around them. they told me that i acted differently around different people. i thought about this for a long time and obviously i am still thinking about it. so, now whenever i am around anybody, i evaluate how i act. am i too quiet? too loud? boring? obnoxious? shy? i get all self conscious and wonder, "am i really being myself or am i putting on a show?" i can't help but wonder. what is the real me? or in the words of derek zoolander as he gazed into a puddle, "who am i?" i most definitely want to be me. how can i be me if i don't know who me is?
maybe i'm putting too much though into this. (most likely, i put too much thought into just about everything.)
but still, i can't help but wonder. what kind of person am i? each person is defined by one of two things:
1. who they want to be
2. who they are comfortable being
there are people who act certain ways because they want to be that way. they want to be outgoing like sally-mae or opinionated like billy-joe so they act like those people. saying things they say, dressing like them, treating people like they treat people. these people i will call "imitators" (thanks profe skousen) is it wrong? i can't say. is it stupid? definitely. is it the sign of a coward? afraid to own up to one's self? yes. i think i am like this a lot of time.
then there are the people who act certain ways because they are comfortable being that way. they are not impersonators. they are innovators not imitators. they can walk in their own shoes and not be jealous of other people's shoes. they know who they are and they act the same person all the time. because they know that being them works best.
so am i an innovator or an imitator? i want to be an innovator, but i think my friend was right. i don't act my true self all the time. i act like the person i think i should be. i try and walk in shoes that just don't fit when i should cinderella up and wear the dang glass slipper. own up to myself, my actions and my choices. accept my quirks and personality. that is the girl i really mean to be.
here are some quotes from one of my favorite authors, oscar wilde, on the matter. (if you haven't read picture of dorian gray, do it. it's great)
